im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I did not marry a roomba.
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