goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize