seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
