I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
