Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
