i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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