If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize