..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
