Whod you bang
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
