ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
