Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
