If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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