The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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