he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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