Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
