so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
