He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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