just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
