It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
