YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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