Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
