I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
