Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
