Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
