Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I want is dick and wine.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
