Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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