Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
