i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
