I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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