Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my shit smells like andre
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
