I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
