I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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