dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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