Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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