If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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