Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is wine microwaveable?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
