what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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