that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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