It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
