i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
