No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
