Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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