if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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