No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
