I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
