i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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