If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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