I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
FUCK WHALES
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
