You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
