You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
