Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She told me I should be a condom model.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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