my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
