The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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