TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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