What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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