I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
