I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize