Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize