why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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