i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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