just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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