so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
