the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
