haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
