Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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