dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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