It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
