and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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