She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
