sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
