if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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